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Microsoft Surface 3 10.8" 64GB Tablet

Mon, 08/21/2017 - 01:00

On the surface, it looks like a pretty good tablet. But under the surface, it also looks like a pretty good tablet.

We gathered a panel of experts to evaluate the Microsoft Surface 3 Tablet, here's what they had to say...

EXPERT 1: Wow, look at this a computer?

EXPERT 2: Excuse me, how long will this take? You said you have some information about my lost dog?

EXPERT 3: I am a dinosaur fossil expert, I don't know why I'm here.


Categories: Misc

Wise Company 104-Serving Variety Bucket

Sun, 08/20/2017 - 01:00

In a world gone mad, a bucket of food looks sane.

What if that day comes. What if your worst nightmare becomes reality. What if the movies were right all along. What if you're down there for days, which turn into weeks, which turn into months. At the very least, you want some food on the shelves, right? Also maybe put some money into drone-delivered pizza and you can sell to the other survivors.

Categories: Misc

Pioneer PL-30-K Audiophile Stereo Turntable

Sat, 08/19/2017 - 01:00

Throw on some wax and drop the needle

("wax" = records / "needle" = needle / "throw on" = smash / "drop" = eat)
Categories: Misc

Mortimer and Monte's Weekend Adventures

Sat, 08/19/2017 - 01:00
Categories: Misc

2-Pack Rocketbook Smart Notebooks

Fri, 08/18/2017 - 01:25

Write. Microwave. Repeat.

In the old days paper was such a scarce commodity that people would erase what was written on it and reuse sheets of it. Luckily, paper isn't such a scarce commodity these days, but it's still a good idea to use less of it. Enter these notebooks. Fill 'em up, pop 'em in the microwave, and they're suddenly blank and ready to be reused. Luckily, microwaves aren't a scare commodity these days either.
Categories: Misc

Fitbit Blaze Smart Fitness Watch

Thu, 08/17/2017 - 01:00

Fitness is better in bits.

There are a lot of ways to get fit. You could run a whole marathon! That's a big ol' chunk of fitness right there! But that's also a lot of work. An easier method is to get your fitness in bits. Walk 10 steps from your bed to your couch? That's one small bit of fitness. Take the stairs instead of the elevator? That's another bit of fitness. Before you know it, you'll have accumulated enough bits of fitness to equal a whole marathon! It'll just be in five step increments, spread out over the course of months.
Categories: Misc

The Debunker: Did Peter Minuit Pay $24 for Manhattan?

Wed, 08/16/2017 - 01:00

On August 28, 1565, the feast day of St. Augustine, a Spanish admiral named Pedro Menéndez de Avilés sighted land in Florida. His men founded a settlement there which is still called St. Augustine, making it the oldest European-founded city in the United States. This August, we've asked Jeopardy! champ Ken Jennings to cast his keen, cosmopolitan eye on American cities coast to coast, the better to debunk some misinformation about them that's as old as the hills, almost as old as St. Augustine itself.

The Debunker: Did Peter Minuit Pay $24 for Manhattan?

It's hard to walk around the densely crowded canyons of midtown Manhattan, home of the world's most expensive commercial real estate, and imagine the island as a primeval forest wilderness, purchased by Dutch colonist Peter Minuit from local Native Americans for just $24 in beads and trinkets. Twenty-four dollars! You can't even get into the Museum of Modern Art today for that!

The Debunker

The $24 number comes from an 1846 calculation by American diplomat and historical scholar John Romeyn Brodhead. A 1626 letter from a West India Company merchant in the Dutch National Archives records that his countrymen "have purchased the Island of Manhattes from the savages for the value of sixty guilders." When Brodhead converted that from Dutch silver to nineteenth-century dollars, he got $24, but his math doesn’t hold up. Today, the Royal Netherlands Academy of Arts and Sciences estimates that sixty seventeenth-century guilders were worth about a thousand dollars in modern money. Other scholars, using contemporary sales of Dutch beer and brandy to establish a historical consumer price index, think the real value could actually be as high as $15,600. Oh, and there's no historical evidence that this was an all-wampum transaction. When the Dutch bought Staten Island from the Munsee Indians four years later, the deal included tools, muskets, cloth, farm implements, and even a "Jew's harp" or two.

Now, obviously $1,000 and even $15,000 are still good prices for thirty square miles of prime real estate. But that doesn't necessarily mean than the Indians got rooked, because we don't even know who Minuit did his deal with. Some accounts suggest that Minuit gave his guilders to members of a Long Island tribe who were just passing through and decided to sell some other tribe's land to make a quick buck. Even if the deal did involve the local Lenape tribe, they may have just been following their custom of trading away hunting rights, not realizing that the Dutch were settling in for the long haul.

Quick Quiz: Today, the National Museum of the American Indian is located at the northeast corner of what park on the southern tip of Manhattan?

Ken Jennings is the author of eleven books, most recently his Junior Genius Guides, Because I Said So!, and Maphead. He's also the proud owner of an underwhelming Bag o' Crap. Follow him at or on Twitter as @KenJennings.

Categories: Misc

Furhaven Orthopedic Pet Bed with Seat Belt Clip

Tue, 08/15/2017 - 01:00

How deep is your dog's love?

We all think that our dogs love us because they go crazy when they see us and they look at us with those gooey puppy-dog eyes. But our dogs also go equally crazy for a well-thrown tennis ball and they'll dole out their gooey-eyed look to anyone who rustles some food packaging in their direction.

The cold hard truth is that your dog doesn't just love you for you. Your dog loves you for the treats you give her and the times you throw the ball for her and the safe home you provide her. Your dog doesn't think you're a beautiful special person; your dog thinks you're a beautiful special treat dispensing walk machine.

But is that really so bad? Are a few treats and tennis ball tosses really such a high price to pay for the love of a dog? We certainly can't bribe our friends and family members into loving us for so low a price. And cats? Everyone knows that their love is unattainable.

Look, we're not trying to make you ask yourself the deep questions about your relationship with your dog. All we're really saying here is that your dog needs somewhere cozy to sleep and you need a endless fountain of love, support, and understanding. Is that really such a bad deal?

Categories: Misc