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Neato Botvac 80 (Scratch & Dent)

Mon, 10/16/2017 - 01:00

The question is: is this more vacuum or robot?

This Botvac is a cyborg, of sorts. Half of it is a robot, programmed to do laps and follow the cleaning orders built into its brain. But part of it is a vacuum, designed to suck up dirt and keep it off your floor. Which is supreme? Is it a robot with a vacuum attached or a vacuum with a robot attached? And more importantly, will this be us after The Singularity hits?

Categories: Misc

Samsung 1080p Wi-Fi Smartcam - 2 Pack

Sun, 10/15/2017 - 01:00

Which is smarter: Samsung SmartCam or a box with a human brain stapled to it?

Samsung SmartCam: able to stream images
box with brain: not able to do that

Samsung SmartCam: multi-streams up to 10 cameras
box with brain: oh gross it's leaking

Categories: Misc

Alexapure Pro Water Filtration System

Sat, 10/14/2017 - 01:00

A system that delivers clean drinking water just about anywhere ...? That's great, but I still have to separate my Skittles by hand.

Now that the Alexapure folks have successfully eliminated the challenge of finding clean water in even the most dire situations, we’re wondering if they could possibly tackle these other highly necessary inventions:

GorpStraw: A straw that effectively removes 99 percent of healthy fruit and nuts from trail mix.

CookieStraw: Delivers only the sugary white goo from Oreos.

MeetingStraw: A straw that filters chitchat and frivolous dawdling from meetings.

LoafStraw: Pierce through the hardest of sourdough crusts and enjoy the soft, wholesome inside.

CrabStraw: No more bibs!

PuddingStraw: Because pudding is better through a straw.

CoupleStraw: Sucks through all the terrible minutiae of coupledom and unearths the good bits. (MAY CONTAIN VACATIONS AND MEALS.)

Categories: Misc

Mortimer and Monte's Weekend Adventures

Sat, 10/14/2017 - 01:00
Categories: Misc

Remote Control RGB Outdoor Holiday Laser Projector

Fri, 10/13/2017 - 01:00

All holidays need more lasers.

The point of holiday lighting is to attract attention to how awesome you are. Anything you wanna hype, you can put up lights. With a laser projector, you don't have to check bulbs, get ladders, or spend weeks taking it all down when you get that first restraining order. IT'S JUST THAT EASY!
Categories: Misc

Pumpkin Spicetoberfest: Week Two

Fri, 10/13/2017 - 01:00

Welcome to PUMPKIN SPICETOBERFEST! All month we're celebrating America's favorite fall spice with a new super-easy and super-tasty pumpkin spice recipe every Friday!

If you haven't already, go here, and follow the recipe to mix up your pumpkin spice. This special Woot Pumpkin Spice recipe will make up just enough pumpkin spice to get you through all four recipes we'll be posting this month.


Pumpkin Spice Snickerdoodles
  • 1 cup butter (softened)
  • 1 cup and 3 tablespoons white sugar
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 3 cups flour
  • 2 teaspoons cream of tartar
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon pumpkin spice

1. In a large bowl, beat butter, 1 cup white sugar, and brown sugar together. Add in eggs and vanilla and mix until combined.

2. Mix flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and pumpkin spice in small bowl. Add dry mix to wet ingredients and stir until dough begins to form.3. Press dough into a ball, wrap in plastic wrap, and chill for at least 30 minutes.

4. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix 3 tbsp. white sugar with pumpkin spice. Roll dough by the tablespoon into balls and roll in the sugar/spice mixture, coating all sides.

5. Bake for approximately 7-10 minutes.

Come back next Friday for more Pumpkin Spicetoberfest madness and share your favorite pumpkin spice recipes below! Oh yeah, and shop for all the kitchen tools and cookware you need right here on Woot!

Categories: Misc

Ray-Ban Polarized Sunglasses

Thu, 10/12/2017 - 01:00

Sunglasses make you look cool, cause they shield your eyes from uncoolness!

I'm not "technically" a "scientist" but I can tell you with absolute "certainty" that these glasses will make you the "coolest" person around. They possess "great powers" and will work with any shape "face" for "maximum cool points". Now, this might not make "logical" "sense", but you should still "give us your money" because these sunglasses are "cool". 
Categories: Misc

Cuisinart 12-Piece Aluminum Non-Stick Cookware Set

Wed, 10/11/2017 - 01:00

Ultimately, a society lives and dies by its cookware.

Rome fell because of barbarians? No! Rome fell because people forgot how to use cookware! They outsourced to servants and then they didn't know how to take care of themselves. The Pre-Colonial British Empire fell because of the Magna Carta? No! The Pre-Colonial British Empire fell because of the spread of cookware! Nobody needed to go before the King's Hearth to get dinner because they could just take care of it at home! The fall of the Russian Royal Family, the collapse of the Chinese Emperor, that guy you didn't like who just broke up with his girlfriend and got what you consider to be just desserts, all 100% due to cookware!

You gotta get in on this scam before someone else takes over your life with the power of cookware. Seriously. COOKWARE. CHANGES. EVERYTHING.

Categories: Misc

The Debunker: Is the "F Word" an Acronym for "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"?

Wed, 10/11/2017 - 01:00

October is Crime Prevention Month, says the National Crime Prevention Council, and would the nonprofit that brought you McGruff the Crime Dog lie to you about crime prevention? In honor of the occasion, we've decided to shine the hard light of truth on the underbelly of the criminal underworld. As a Jeopardy! superhero, Ken Jennings doesn't fight crime—just misinformation about crime. He'll be here all month debunking felonious falsehoods and misdemeanor myths.

The Debunker: Is the "F Word" an Acronym for "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"?

Because its history often went unwritten for reasons of propriety, the notorious "f-word" has left itself open to all kinds of crazy folk etymologies. In two common versions, the word is actually an acronym. Sometimes the word is said to come from a sign advertising that a newlywed couple's marriage in olden times had been approved by the crown: "Fornication Under Consent of the King." (Presumably when a woman sat on the throne, the word was spelled "fucq.") In another version, prisoners locked in the stocks for sexual shenanigans were placed under a sign that read "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge." Van Halen was so charmed by the transgressive power of this last acronym that they named a 1991 album and tour after it. Those naughty boys!

The Debunker

There are multiple problems with those explanations, chief among them the fact that forming words from acronyms wasn't really a thing before World War II—the word "acronym" was only coined in 1943, to refer to the new vogue for phonetically pronouncing abbreviations like snafu, radar, and WAC. There's also the fact that "fornication" doesn't really make sense in this context (married couples, by definition, cannot fornicate) and prisoners serving crimes were never places under signs with the word "for." The sign in such a case, if any, would have said something like "Adultery."

The f-word is first attested in written English in 1310, when court records mention an arrest warrant for a certain "Roger Fuckebythenavele." (If you think that was not an insult and Roger merely had a very unfortunate family name, then the real first usage is in a late 15th-century poem. In either case, that's centuries before acronyms caught on in English.) Our English word has cognates in German ("ficken," to copulate) and Dutch ("fokken," to breed) as well as Scandinavian dialects, and may even derive from Latin verbs that pre-date its Germanic usage. It's old af, y'all.

Quick Quiz: What 1960s folk-rocker made his movie debut in the Mike Nichols movies Catch-22 and Carnal Knowledge?

Ken Jennings is the author of eleven books, most recently his Junior Genius Guides, Because I Said So!, and Maphead. He's also the proud owner of an underwhelming Bag o' Crap. Follow him at or on Twitter as @KenJennings.

Categories: Misc

HP 15.6" AMD Quad-Core 2TB Touch Laptops

Tue, 10/10/2017 - 01:00

Finally, a laptop you can touch!

I guess technically you can touch all laptops- but this one will actually do stuff when you touch it. Well, ok, so all laptops will do stuff if you touch their keyboards- but this laptop will do stuff if you poke at the screen. And we guarantee that you've poked your computer screen at least once trying to click on something. So get a laptop that can handle your handy advances!
Categories: Misc